Wanderer's pond

Feet swing from the knees

Dangling from the fishing dock.



Cast a line

Into the dark water

Where stars swim.



Toes dip into speckled quietude

An ecosystem of breathless relief.



Sideways glance

Toward the pond floor

Where daylight dies.



Look but don’t jump, dear.

Home for now is solid ground.

City of Ants

can you see it? 

all of reality in one swift blow,

your life before your eyes.

can you feel it?

the weight of eternity 

and the helium nothingness. 

watch meaningless moments

flash backwards.

underwater smalltalk 

bubbles and swells

from fuzzy peripherals,

just grey noise. 

cotton candy lights

glow beneath your feet.

keep your toes above ground,

careful not to disturb

the city of ants

bustling and buzzing 

with somewhere

and something

to be.

breathe in the absent atmosphere,

all you can sip.

quickly now,

before gravity remembers 

your hollow bones

and sends you flaming
back to the land of the living.

Frostbite

Winter is coming. So very metaphoric. I have a lot of feelings about things like winter and the things it reminds me of. I've had a few wonderful winters - winters full of bright new adventures and having someone to miss. And I've had less wonderful winters. I'm trying not to be pessimistic about this one.




Frostbite    11/20/17


It all feels colder now,

And winter will come and go

With only a wall between me and my snowstorm. 

Love is frostbite, but I don’t want to wear gloves. 

Wandering out into the frozen grey

Leaves a bitter taste. 

I’ll stay inside and thaw awhile,

Watching and wishing through the window.

And I'll be a lighthouse

I'm back with more poetic content, kids. Buckle up.
Please enjoy this quick poem. I think my writing is of a higher quality when I handwrite, but this one was typed on my computer just five minutes ago. We shall see.


And I'll be a lighthouse. 10/18/17

Wrap me up in haze.
Show me how, 
And I’ll be a lighthouse,
Battered but bright. 
When it rains, it pours. 

Fold me into your world.
Let me breathe,
And I’ll be a spring well,
Warm and wonder-filled.
But lead me not into temptation.

Make me the muse.
Reach for me,
And I’ll be a spectacle,
Brilliant but bruised.
The show must go on.

Green tea over ice

In a mostly unsuccessful effort to fill my long summer days with purpose, I have once again returned to writing poetry.  Please enjoy, friends.

Green tea over ice.

Headphones in, 

Listening to nothing. 

The words don’t flow outward

When words fly inward. 

Flip the switch.

Cut off the intake. 

Storehouses full,

My cup runneth over.

One sips, two sips.

Green sips, blue lips. 

The words don’t flow outward

When words freeze over. 

Crank the thermostat to 95. 

Wait for the thaw of spring

And the melt of summer. 

Glaciers turned rivers,

Rivers turned seas. 

Filtered,

Distilled,

Steeped. 
Green tea over ice. 

Tethered

At the piano, playing two keys at a time
And singing anything that comes to mind
Right hand improvising in C major

Ironic.

Left hand hung between my knees

Slumped. 

Tonight the upright piano
Settled into antique rugs
Is my therapist

Finally. 

Verses fall out of my mouth
Makeshift and muddy

Unadulterated. 

The hammers and strings understand
Homebound and hidden

Forgotten. 

The Inner Workings of a Brain on Sunshine

Hello all,

I would like to apologize to those of you who eagerly await my next post - there are millions of you, I'm sure. This semester has been a whirlwind to say the least. I can no longer promise poems twice a week, as you may have already gathered by the lack of poems entering your brain from this blog. My sincerest apologies. HOWEVER, I still love writing and sharing my poetry, and I hope to do so as often as I can. 

That being said, I have quite often found myself sitting and simply writing my thoughts in a poetic-ish "stream of consciousness" format. I will share an excerpt from one warm day a couple weeks ago. As you may notice, I have some formatting schemes that I am experimenting with, mostly concerning capitalization of letters. Bear with me, and please enjoy. 

----------------------

There are so many ways.

I'd like to take many.

Terrible, I only have two feet

that must travel in the same direction.

What a novel concept

to sell words.

All my life

I thought words were free.

stuck in the weather

that makes you fickle

about your jacket.

i'll never understand

why people travel in herds

when you find the most beautiful places

all on your own

here they come

the thundering herd

chattering and stomping the grass down

in a cloud of limbs

here i sit

the introspective maple

seeping with raw, undefined sweet

but only until the sky is grey

and my leaves turn cold with the weather

metaphors only really work

when you know what you're talking about.

the sunflower reaches ever for the sun

but never touches it

hung love

between the trees

swinging lightly

in the breeze

ruffled hair

tied with ease

the hammock follows

her drowsy decrees

The Secret I Didn't Tell

Hello readers,

Over the last year or so, several issues have been on my mind. One of these issues is the ever-present culture of rape, sexual assault, human trafficking, and related topics that are enormous problems in the U.S. and around the world. So many brave people have shared their stories as victims and survivors of sexual assault, and by doing so, have helped raise awareness of the brutal reality of these horrible crimes.

I have thought long and hard about sharing this poem with my friends and family, but I think it is time. I don't want or need your pity for what happened to me. I have had years to come to terms with it, and I am okay. I simply want everyone to know that sexual assault is real, and it is in your hometown. It is in your family. It happens to your friends and neighbors. It happened to me.



the secret i didn't tell

i've seen hands
(cold, clammy)
wander.
i used to wear Wranglers.
i don't anymore.
they smell like
silage and robbery.
(forced entry is only
taken seriously at the bank.)
my hands were cold, too.
it was winter
and i guess my Wranglers
fit him like a glove.
(i wonder if the bible
keeps him warm these days
if he stands at the pulpit
like he always said he would)

Today wasn't a snow day and I'm upset.

Happy Tuesday!

If you read my last post and were concerned, fear not. My crisis has subdued.

After a 3 day weekend of working and being stuck in my room due to an ice storm, we are back to classes. I had sincerely hoped they would cancel classes today, but good old UNI hasn't had a snow day in 1.7 million years.

Note: I have lost count of the times I have almost fallen on my face after slipping on the icy sidewalk.

As my motivation to do anything is dwindling in the single digits, I haven't written any new poems lately. I hope you all enjoy this poem I wrote back in December.


in the winter. 12/8/16

when the wind takes a breath
and the soft laughter
of the cold air
falls in shining pieces,
i should take your hand
though we both shiver.
i should hold you
to keep you warm
when the wind once again runs
and our faces grow red
with stinging chill
and laughter.
i should.

Back to the Grind

Happy Tuesday!

It's been alternating rain and snow all day here in Cedar Falls, making for a miserable, slushy, windy walk to classes. As I walked down the gross, grey sidewalk, I kept trying to remind myself that everything is easier when the weather is nice. Everything is easier when you get into the swing of things. It's day two of classes and I'm already quite overwhelmed, but I know I'll get into a groove.

I'm sitting in the library drinking a cup of coffee. You know what that means. Poem time. The first piece today isn't really a poem, but rather a short list of statements. I don't really do New Year's resolutions, so these are my equivalent - intentions for self- and life-improvement.


2017

wake up and start the day
do it for yourself and want it
get serious, but keep your life
encourage others - it will encourage you
earn your keep, earn your seat
commit, but only to what you can handle
stay humble, but have confidence
try everything
ask questions
effort is good. force is not.
savor every moment
give your full attention
don't compare yourself to anyone except yourself
be available and remember yourself


This next poem is untitled. In fact, I don't even remember writing it.


1/1/17

her fingers were crooked
they were bent into the
same shape as her heart.
not ugly, just different.
her face, too, was askew
in a vague sort of way.
she had so much inside
that it all gathered up in
the corners to whisper
the day's gossip.
her angled teeth fell into a row,
but sometimes she forgot.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

Happy Thursday!

I am currently sitting in the backseat of my dad's pickup, hurtling down I-80. It's wedding time. My brother, Garrett, is getting married in just a couple of days and I'm doing my best to fulfill my self-assigned role of "Person Who Avoids Creating Even More Stress" in the next 72 hours. All the wedding preparations aside, I'm very excited to see family and friends at this weekend's festivities.
After all the fancy schmancy events surrounding marriage and such, I'll be returning to UNI! Classes begin on Monday and I have never been more excited to go back to school. I miss my pals.

Wiiiiiiithout further ado, here are a couple short poems.

twenty too many. 1/5/17

i think

i’ll regret

living in a time

that didn’t

hold on

to anything.

the only thing

this time 

will be remember for

is being
too many things.

thrift store souvenirs. 1/5/17

i wear sweaters

that make me look

like i’ve lived.

they make me look

like i’ve been.

they make me seem

like i’ve seen.

maybe if i wear

a sweater

that’s travelled,

i’ll feel like

i’ve travelled

too.

Happy New Year!

Happy Tuesday!

I didn't post on Thursday because I was visiting some friends in northern Iowa, but fear not. I have returned.

This week is going to be one huge crazy whirlwind. My brother is getting married on Saturday, and everyone is in psycho wedding mode... Not naming any names... The next several days will be full of preparations and family and so many other things I probably don't even know about yet. What a thrill. To top it all off, classes start at UNI on the following Monday. That being said, I really am excited for this wedding. I'm so happy for Garrett and Marissa. They're adorable.

Since I didn't post on Thursday, I think I'll post two short poems here today. You good with that? Cool.


blank. 1/1/17

thank god you don't mind
silence
cause i have the hardest time
forming thoughts
when you're around.



poems are raised on child support. 1/2/17

all the most
beautiful things
are products of
tragedy

synthetic heartbreak
isn't hard to spot
i should know
i've played victim

so put an ad
in the paper

WE BUY TRAUMA

and invest in
some nightmares